All Henry... All the time.when a plan comes together : 09/28/04
Well plan \lquote walk mom around SF till she drops\rquote was a huge success. Together with my two evil associates Mike and Mary (The Mischievous \lquote M\rquote s as I like to call them, though they prefer \lquote Mike and Mary\rquote ). We started off by driving her to a spot in SF where there are only hills in every direction, then tempting her with stories of seals and \lquote Ice Cream\rquote . Then, agent M exposed Mom to: Castro Street, claiming that she would not see any \lquote men dressed as women\rquote . Which, of course, was a lie. It is unclear which was more unsettling for her. The many men in dresses, or Mike\rquote s suggestion that \lquote maybe we should turn back now\rquote . We took her to Nirvana, because it has an incredibly beautiful backyard seating area. Which, of course, was unavailable.
The next day we threw rabid squirrels at her, made her walk 14 miles to see some roses and some water plants. Then we took her across the bridge and, with the help of Suzanne (Wendy\rquote s Mom and a Secret Agent) we made her eat...extremely Americanized Asian food! With Vegetables! (Actually, PF Chang\rquote s was pretty good, and you people have one in Boston. So go. Tell them the \lquote two Ms\rquote sent you).
By the end of day 2 (or, day 1.5, really) Mom was pretty tired. So, we did the only logical thing. We made her GET UP EARLY and WALK FOR 1 MILE. (She claims getting to the walk was 2 miles, so the total was three. She also claims that the distance from our garage to the stairs was 3/4 of a mile,. So take it for what it is worth).
After the cancer walk, we decided to test he reflexes by not letting her eat (aside from a paltry strop at BK for a burger and some fires) and getting her drunk, while wandering the hills of NAPA. We had the assistance of two devious agents, Will and Clark (who actually delayed going to another party to show us around NAPA. Which was very nice. ) Agent Clark noticed that while Mary was knowledgeable about wines, mom had significant skills in \lquote emptying her glass\rquote .
The last day we walked her around SF some more, made her eat more Asian food, and forced her to ride a cable car. We have pictures of most events, which will be posted another time. However, clues to the lasting effects of all of this may be gleaned from one of her final, cryptic, statements on her last day in SF,
\ldblquote Do you often\'85bake?\rdblquote
I'm so glad that you guys have me to pick on. If
you need some baking done just call the perfect people, you know, ronnie, carole. they'll be happy to do all the baking you might need whenever you need it.
Then who was the doubting shrink guy representing? At first I thought he was Canada, but upon further thought maybe Russia....I am torn as to which on is which and which one won.
Yes, that was Arnold. Mom was (mis) quoting Mac Arthur who said "I shall return". Interestingly enough, these are essentially the same speech since (as we all know) the terminator movie was a metaphor for WWII with the Terminator as Mac Arthur, Sarah Conner as the Philippines, and the police as 'Japan'. Reese represented Australia to Conner's Philippines. Skynet was the embodiment of American Manufacturing.
Of course, they abandoned that metaphor for the sequels, where the Terminator represented \lquote Patriotism\rquote , Conner \lquote America\rquote and Skynet the Red Chinese, but that\rquote s a different story\'85.
Mom, don't worry about the knee surgary, I just got a new computer program at Home Depot on deck building, it's almost the same thing as knee surgary so I can do it (especially if it saves my pennies. And I believe that it was Arnold schwsen.... shcwehn.... scwartzenn... the California Governor who stated "I'll be back". Glad you had fun though.
Thank you to all of you who plotted against me, so I could have a good time. Which I did, but whatever pennies I would have left you in my will is now gone because I now knee another operation on my knee. You"ll pay you ungratefull children. But to my other new friends, Thank you for a great time. As Douglas MacArthur has stated before. "Ill be back".
Well, with all this espionage and suspicious activity, I believe that mom will notify that Mom will contact the Homeland Security people and try to stop these actions......of she doesn't, you may have already won.
Thanks guys for getting her in shape for our trip to LA come this February!
Thank you Henry and Agent M (West Coast) for a great long weekend!!! I had a blast forcing Mom to walk..ummmm "site seeing"!
BTW Henry - You could have shown me a Great White Shark..the Monterray Aquarium has one on exhibit right now! :P
PS - We miss the Prawns!
I only.......Bake when its cold out...
If its a blizzard....well then its a six course meal...
I do want to thank Will and Clark and "Q" and Fernando and everyone else for a great time in S.F.the cancer walk, the dinner with everyone and all the fun we had.