Keeping up with Bill

As a major media source, I felt bad that Bill had an enemies list, but I didn’t. So, I created one (and in much less time than it took Bill, even though I have no staff). So, in no particular order, I present my enemies:

• Topeka Baptist Church
• Every Teletubbie except the gay one
• The guy who cut me off yesterday.
• All of Bush’s cabinet, except Mike Johanns – Secretary from the Department of Agriculture
• Pat Roberston, Tony Perkins, James Dobson, and/or Jerry Falwell
• The guy from Starbucks who never puts enough caramel in my Macchiato
• Little Green Footballs
• Ex-Gays (in general)
• People who talk to me on elevators
• Firist, DeLay, and/or Lott
• People who block sidewalks smoking
• People who smoke in public
• Tobacco Companies (Except RJ Reynolds, who clearly have my best interest at heart)
• The little green alien from the later episodes of the Flintstones
• Fox News
• Jared, the subway guy
• People who pronounce it ‘New-kewl-ar’ as opposed to nuclear
• Whoever it was from Fox TV, who canceled ‘The Tick’
• Anyone born in the 80s.

This is, by no means, an exhaustive list.